"God does not demand great actions from us, but simply surrender and gratitude." - little St. Therese

That may be my favorite quote from St. Therese because we are so easily tricked into thinking we are supposed to do great and be great. Ah, but the joy of the Little Way of Spiritual Childhood which gained Therese a Doctorate is that we don't have to do anything big, just love God from our spot in the firmament (or is it terra firma?) - well, simply surrender ourselves like a child into its mama or papa's arms, and sigh with gratitude.

Easy for me to say! I just had the most pain free cancer surgery ever! Granted I'm still a little stymied that no pink swag was offered (2 dear ones who had been through this before assured me there would be pink swag offered) - the nurses even laughed at me slightly scoffingly when I suggested this during the last pre-op (I love that anything happening between diagnosis and operation is "pre-op" and thus sounds very grand!), just before it was time for "Scalpel, please."

Luckily for us all, I was well out of it when (and if) the doctor put on his Marcus Welby act (or Doogie Howser or George Clooney in E.R. - gosh, it's been a long time since I've even heard about a medical show! Hugh Laurie in House? Is that about hospitals?).

The point is that anesthesiologist did a marvelous job. Then the surgeon apparently did his job, though I could hardly tell you because if you asked me, nothing happened! Just a nice snooze, an easy return from dreamland, and I was on my little way home being driven by my chauffeur of 36 years. He's remarkably good.

So I am grateful! I got to go to early Mass with my husband yesterday, the day after surgery. I got to visit with friends, and I got to see what it would be like if I rose out of my coffin at my own funeral! Not to be morbid at all, but it was fun to see the happy expressions on people's faces when I went to breakfast at TAC after Mass. Not even one person accused me of faking the whole "I need an operation, please pray for me a lot" routine. Said husband assures me it did happen!

And I am grateful for all your prayers, dear reader. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my life so joyful. I know from past experience that it is possible for life to be really painful (physically and otherwise), but I know that God is a merciful Father and the kindest brother in the world, One who must turn away His face when we suffer, One who must come down to be with us in our pain. The great news is that He will never leave us alone, and the way He is showing me that this time is by your presence in my life. So thank you, with tears in my eyes, though only tears of joy and gratitude for YOU and your love. Please don't think you are unimportant because your great actions haven't been noticed. Your little ones have, and those are the ones that got Mother Teresa, St. Therese, and big St. Teresa to Heaven!

Speaking of which, I whiled away the time just before we went off to the hotel and hospital (always cushion your hospital outpatient surgery with a Hilton stay is my new advice! If it is near a hospital, they may give you a special discount and/or comp the parking and breakfast so you can pretend this is a way of life rather than a super fun and crazy adventure) - but as I was saying, as I whiled away the time before we left home, I listened and watched (mostly listened) to a lady in a bright jacket and floral dress talk about these 3 Teresas, and I was so excited. Okay, it was me, but thanks to a dear friend who is magnificent with a camera, and thanks to New Jersey for providing the fun (and soft) jacket, and thanks most of all to the angels, saints, and the Holy Spirit Who was with us the day I gave the talk for my parish - WOW, it sounded credible to me, all that stuff I said! (Okay, I didn't listen to the end, but I heard the first half, and it sounded both true and interesting. I can't ask for more!)

So if you feel like hearing (and perhaps seeing) more about these 3 Teresas who got to Heaven by surrender and gratitude (okay and a little elbow grease for the 1st and 3rd, but for the 2nd, our heroine and fave Doctor, the French little Therese, not so much elbow grease as very, little, teeny, tiny daily tasks done often badly - she was terrible at housework in the convent! - with lots of love, or at least as much as she could muster!) - then go for it and click HERE:

Miss Marcel speaks at St. Sebastian's Eucharistic day of reflection, back in the spring of 2024

May God bless and reward you for your love, support, and silent prayers (and even your out loud prayers!) - they have meant so much and provided me with a cushy ride on this new stretch of road. Poor Big St. Teresa falling out of that cart. She couldn't believe she was in the mud, and told the Truth the truth: "No wonder You have so few friends, if this is how You treat them!" - If you're having that kind of day, feel free to complain, but don't forget to laugh, too, because as little St. Therese says, "Children fall often, but they don't hurt themselves much because they're already so close to the ground!"

As for my prayers for you, I can only repeat with our sister:

Draw me; we will run!

FIRST JOY - Today's Feast: The Seven Joys of Mary!!!

Second Joy: Peanuts comic strips - including this prophetic one! Here I am totally blonde (let's just admit it!) and happily receiving visitors, roses on my bedside table representing the near presence of little Therese and Marcel, while my excellent medical helper takes notes!

Okay, so Marcel didn't do a disappearing-tumor-act miracle, but that's good! You get so many fewer roses when you DON'T have surgery but just have a miracle. That's my guess! And I was (and am) really looking forward to this great surgeon I have (thanks Shirl!) doing his work well. How disappointing if yesterday he had his first surgery of the morning today cancelled with no one to replace it. A surgeon is virtuous (as a surgeon) when he practices his art excellently! So here's to doctors, nurses, techs, and all the good people I'll meet almost as soon as I finish this post!

As for the 5 other joys I mentioned in the post title, how about:

Joy #3 - your prayers! Thank you so much!
Joy #4 - God's kindness in letting me fulfill a long held dream last night of watching from a comfy hotel room His gorgeous orange sunset over the mountains and city lights! Wow! Spectacular work, God! Thank You!
Joy #5 - All the kind people we've been meeting along the way! Wow, this world is so full of kind people I hope you meet sometime too! How about start with whomever you see the minute you look up from this screen (or the first person you see whenever a person shows up in your sight!) - love him first and watch it boomerang right back to you (or be absorbed in a black hole if you got the wrong person, but hey, he needs love more than anyone!)
Joy #6 - my husband upstairs in the hotel room as I'm in the lobby wide awake - and he's hearing the alarm and wondering where I am but with confidence (I hope) that I haven't left for Vegas!
Joy #7 - the Saints! May they come to you today with their angels and greet you with joyful surprises in honor of Mary's 7 joys!

Draw me, we will run!

Wonderfully, I'm just remembering that August 26 is also the day Jesus told St. Anthony Mary Claret that He would remain sacramentally in St. Anthony perpetually between their Holy Communions. I talk about this at length in Something New with St. Therese: Her Eucharistic Miracle, so if you need a good book to pass the time while waiting for our miracle, you can get your copy HERE.

But what of the day we start the novena? As I hinted in the title above, you're welcome to start or join in whenever you stumble upon this post, but in order to finish on my surgery day, we're beginning officially on our today, which is August 19, feast of the infamous St. John Eudes.

Infamous? you say, curious and all agog.

Well, yes, infamous ever since the hilarious repartee about St. John Eudes that Jesus shot back at Marcel in one of their conversations. In case you're on a buying spree, you can buy Conversations HERE and read the whole story for yourself, but while we've got your attention, we'll tell it in a nutshell right now.

When our dear Marcel Van was a young novice with the Redemptorists, each New Year's he chose a slip of paper on which was written the name of a saint who would be his special patron for the next year. In his Conversations (with Jesus, Mary, and St. Therese), Marcel writes on January 1, 1946 the following dialog he had with Jesus about his new saint for the year:

Jesus: Marcel, for the new year I wish you an abundance of everything: much love, much joy, much suffering. I wish that you eat a lot, that you have a lot of fun, that you sleep a lot, that you work a lot . . . in a word, I wish everything for you in abundance. Were you surprised yesterday to receive Saint John Eudes, of whom you had never heard, as your patron for the year? It's very strange is it not? Is that what has made you sad?

Marcel: Yes, little Jesus, I am very sad. After having asked You insistently, You have given me neither Your name nor that of Mary and You have not even left me that of my sister Therese. You always tell me that You give me all I ask; and yet, after having begged You so much, You have not given me what I desired. Truly, You do not keep Your word. I am very sad because of it, little Jesus.

Jesus: Come, come, Marcel, what did I say to you the other day? I told you that I would choose a very strange patron for you. So, how can you reproach me for not having kept my word? . . . it is necessary that you enlarge the circle of your relations with your brothers and sisters, the saints . . .

Marcel: So, Jesus, why have You not given me my father Saint Alphonsus? And who, therefore, is Saint John Eudes, little Jesus? I know absolutely nothing about him; I only heard of him for the first time yesterday.

* * *  And here's the line which always makes me smile and laugh:

Jesus: Saint John Eudes, Marcel, is Saint John Eudes, that's all. He is a saint who loved me a lot during his life, after his death he ascended to heaven with me and the Church canonized him . . . And now, I want to give you him as your patron of the year. Marcel, you are so fussy; even if you know nothing of Saint John Eudes, that's of no consequence and I am not obliging you to know any more about him. The only thing that you must know is that I have chosen him for your patron of the year. And since I have chosen him for you, why would it not be as suitable as another. Do not be sad, Marcel. And even if you were sad, you would not be able to change is since you have already eaten some sweets in his honour; if you were going to change, all the saints would make fun of you and you would be very ashamed.

*  *  *
Well, it turns out that St. John Eudes is not only Saint John Eudes, he's also up for consideration as a Doctor of the Church! But let's face it, now that St. Therese is a Doctor, we've got our lifetime reading plan in place, so don't be afraid I'm going to give you another link to another book you need to order and not have time to read . . . instead, I'm going to copy a terrific little bio I just read on the infamous St. John Eudes, because though Jesus didn't elaborate, that's where we come in!

Who is St. John Eudes?
I'm so glad you asked! 

From the website of his religious order and refined by our editorial team:

Born in France on November 14, 1601, St. John Eudes’ life spanned the century immediately following the glorious Council of Trent, which heralded the dawn of a golden age of sanctity and mystic fervor.

No fewer than seven Doctors of the Church had lived in the previous century, including St. Francis de Sales, St. Teresa of Avila, and St. John of the Cross. Their influence, along with that of St. Ignatius Loyola and St. Philip Neri, was still fresh as St. John Eudes came onto the scene.

He was educated by the newly founded Jesuits in rural Normandy, later to be known as the land of St. Therese of Lisieux. He was ordained into the Oratory of Jesus and Mary, a society of priests based on the model of St. Philip Neri’s Oratory in Rome and recently founded by Cardinal Pierre de Bérulle, a man renowned for his holiness and named “the apostle of the Incarnate Word” by Pope Urban VII. Rounding out St. John Eudes’ heritage is the influence of the Discalced Carmelites. His spiritual director, Cardinal Bérulle himself, had brought sisters from St. Teresa of Avila’s convent in Spain to help found the Carmel in France. John Eudes would later become spiritual director to a Carmelite convent himself. Their cloister prayed constantly for his missionary activity.

As an avid participant in a wave of re-evangelization in France, St. John Eudes’ principal apostolate was preaching parish missions. Spending anywhere from 4 to 20 weeks in each parish, he preached over 120 missions across his lifetime, always with a team of confessors providing the sacrament around the clock, and catechists meeting daily with small groups of parishioners.

Early in his priesthood, an outbreak of plague hit St. John Eudes’ native region and he rushed to provide sacraments to the dying. The risk of contagion was so great that no one else dared to approach the victims. In order to protect his Oratorian brothers from contagion, St. John Eudes took up residence in a large empty cider barrel outside of the city walls until the plague had ended.

During his missions he heard countless confessions, including those from women forced into prostitution. Realizing they needed intense healing and support, he began to found “Houses of Refuge” to help them get off the street and begin a new life. In 1641 he founded the Sisters of Our Lady of Charity of the Refuge to continue this work. They would live with the penitent women and provide them with constant support. Today, these sisters are known as the Good Shepherd Sisters, inspired by their fourth vow of zeal to go out seeking the “lost sheep.”

Occasionally, St. John Eudes would return to the site of a previous mission. To his dismay, he found that the fruits of the mission were consistently fading for lack of support. The crucial piece in need of change was the priesthood. Previously, the only way to be trained as a priest was through apprenticeship to an already ordained priest, and understandably the result was inconsistent. In 1643 St. John left the Oratory and founded the Congregation of Jesus and Mary to found a seminary; his innovation was a response to a proposal of the Council of Trent. 

At a mission in 1648, St. John Eudes authored the first known Mass in honor of the Heart of Mary. In 1652 he built the first church under the Immaculate Heart’s patronage: the chapel of his seminary in Coutances, France. During the process of his canonization, Pope St. Pius X named St. John Eudes “the father, doctor, and apostle of liturgical devotion to the Hearts of Jesus and Mary.” The Heart of Jesus because he created the first Feast of the Sacred Heart in 1672, just one year before St. Margaret Mary Alacoque had her first apparition of the Sacred Heart.

Although his Marian devotion was intense from a tender age, the primary inspiration for this feast came from St. John Eudes’ theology of baptism. From the beginning of his missionary career he taught that Jesus continues His Incarnation in the life of each baptized Christian. As we give ourselves to Christ, our hands become His hands, our heart is transformed into His heart. Mary is the ultimate exemplar of this. She gave her Heart to God so completely that she and Jesus have just one Heart between them. Thus, whoever sees Mary, sees Jesus, and honoring the Heart of Mary is never separate from honoring the Heart of Jesus.

At the time of this writing, Bishops the world over have requested that the Vatican proclaim St. John Eudes a Doctor of the Church. For more information on the progress of this cause, on his writings or spirituality, contact [email protected].

*   *   *

Isn't that amazing???

And here's an extra little bit of Therese trivia to finish off the story:

St. Therese, the Little Flower, said she would have wanted to go join the Good Shepherd sisters (or some such order, but I think she may have been thinking of St. John Eudes' order) if she hadn't been accepted in Carmel, and she would have enjoyed no one knowing she wasn't a Magdalene. She loved so much! And she loved Magdalene (as well as Magdalenes) so much! I was trying to find the exact quote from her regarding this desire, but the Holy Spirit hid it from me and gave me instead an old post from MMM on Mary Magdalene. If you click on her name in bold, you can read that post after this one - for some, over ten words is too much, but in case you are in the other class of people where, when it comes to the saints, you can never read enough, you can find more of Mary Magdalene and Therese and Marcel HERE.

Meanwhile, I found a new prayer to Marcel with which I thought we'd end our post. That way we can remind ourselves, in the midst of all these giants, of the little sprout we're calling on for our miracle. And please join me in thanking God for a mini-miracle He's giving me today: there's a Miss Marcel East whose wedding anniversary is today, and I get to eat Lebanese food with her in person even though we live 3000 miles apart (on any normal day)!

Miracles are in the air, so don't forget to ask for some extras when you're saying our prayers to Marcel. I'll include your intentions too, and before we know it, we'll be rejoicing over more miracles than we can submit to Rome in a lifetime!

Marcel, you who were the hidden apostle of Love, so humble and so small,
Marcel, you to whom Jesus entrusted the mission of turning suffering into joy,
Marcel, you who lived in trust and filial tenderness with Jesus and Mary,
Marcel, you who told us that "God is Father and the Father is Love,"
Marcel, you who became Thérèse's spiritual little brother,
Join us in our trials and be our support.
Through the grace we ask of you (namely Suzie's complete, instantaneous, and lasting cure from cancer, Bosco's complete, instantaneous, and lasting cure from illness, and all the other healings and miracles we need), grant us from the Heart of Jesus an increase in faith, hope, and love.
Heavenly Father, now let the faithful who pray to You in the power of the Holy Spirit with Your servant Marcel Van see the efficacy of his intercession in answering their requests, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen!

Draw me, we will run!!!

"Let us let ourselves be carried by the Immaculata; she will think of everything and take care of all our needs, of the soul and of the body. Let us give every difficulty, every sorrow to her, and have confidence that she will take care of it better than we could. Peace then, peace, much peace in an unlimited confidence in her . . . above all, never let yourselves be troubled, never be frightened, never fear anything." - St. Maximilian Kolbe

I've been reading a fabulous book lately:
The Miraculous Medal: Pendant of Power by Christine Watkins

Wow, this woman can write, and WOW, God has given her something worthy to write about. The quote from St. Maximilian came from this book, and I'm so grateful. We here at Miss Marcel's Musings take as our motto Jesus' words, "Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid," from the 14th chapter of St. John's gospel. But we love hearing others echo these words, starting with Mary herself in her appearance as Our Lady of Guadalupe to little Juanito Diegito, the littlest of her sons. Do you remember her words?

Hear and let it penetrate your heart, my dear little one:
Let nothing discourage you, nothing depress you.
Let nothing alter your heart or your countenance.
Am I not here who am your Mother?
Are you not under my shadow and protection?
Am I not your fountain of life?
Are you not in the folds of my mantle?
In the crossing of my arms?
Is there anything else that you need?
Do not fear any illness or vexation, anxiety or pain.

Learning about St. Max lately, I've been enjoying his insane trust in Our Lady and his absolute confidence in the wonders she will work through the gift of her Miraculous Medal. And this is where Tree comes in, and her little secretary, Hope. For the story of the Miraculous Medal, go to this link:

St. Catherine Laboure: Saint of the Miraculous Medal

And then for Tree's story, go here:

St. Catherine Laboure, the Miraculous Medal, and Me

Both are by the lovely Hope Schneir, and I'm so grateful she wrote to tell us of Tree's life, as well as her own and St. Catherine's.

If you have a chance to read Hope's articles, you'll likely next need this link:

MIraculous Medals (to get blessed by a priest once they arrive tomorrow)

I also have the joy of announcing that while we're finishing a 54 day Rosary novena tomorrow on the Assumption, I'm also planning to start another! Because . . . (drum roll please) . . . if you start a 54 day Rosary Novena on the Feast of the Assumption, you will finish on the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary, also known as Our Lady of Victory for her many victories through the Rosary!

Meanwhile, let's end with something from Marcel. He's such a love, such a faithful little apostle for Jesus and Mary (and silent St. Joseph) that we can't resist pondering the words he so sweetly left us in Conversations:

Jesus: Little child of my love, do you know why Magdalene was spellbound at my feet and found so much happiness close to me that she even forgot to come to the assistance of her sister Martha? Listen my child. The reason is that at that particular moment I was speaking only words of love to her as I am actually doing now with you. Magdalene was so enchanted that she even forgot the reproaches of her sister. But, supposing that she had not then been full of joy, she would have quarreled immediately with her sister. However, because my words had taken her outside herself, she did not realize what her sister was saying to her and she satisfied herself by smiling, as you did yourself my child when I asked you if you wished to be my spouse.

My dear child, your role is to be the apostle of my love. For that you must not be happy simply to hear my words but you must also write them down for the good of souls. It is true it will be necessary to cause you a little pain, but since you love me, sacrifice yourself completely for my love . . . If Magdalene at the time when she was listening to me had written down what I was saying to her, what words of love would have been shown to the world. My child, it is for this that I have said to your holy sister, "It is not all at once that all my love reveals itself, but little by little." Yes, my child, it is good that way. In the manifestations of my love to man I must observe a certain moderation; if I go much beyond this restraint, man will understand nothing. . . My child, my love is limitless but a great number of souls do not believe this . . . My child, you know how much I suffer because of such an attitude . . . After all the signs of love I have given to them, men have not yet understood; they have even dared to doubt my love . . . My child, my love is always limitless; tell this to souls . . . Yes, contrary to what people think, my love is always without limits. Little child of my love, if my love for souls ever ceased to exist, that would be the sign that I myself had ceased to exist. I have recalled this truth already many times, but each time I see those who doubt my love. . .My child, comfort me... If you do not know what to say to me, listen, I am going to teach you a short prayer that you will be able to repeat to me just as it is: 'Dear Jesus, my love, even if no one wished to believe the truth of Your words of love that You are here dictating to me, I will gladly sacrifice my life to bear witness to the truth of these words."

*   *   *

How good our Jesus is, and how He loves to tell us Himself, to tell us the Truth!
Little by little, one manifestation or surprise at a time, He tells us of His love, His limitless love, and He shares this love with us through HIs Mother Mary. 

St. Maximilian wrote this about the manifestation of HIs limitless love that Jesus has ahead for us:

"Blessed Catherine Laboure - the fortunate nun to whom the Immaculata chose to appear in Paris, in the chapel of the Motherhouse of the Sisters of Charity and who, as an instrument of the Immaculata, has served to introduce and spread the Miraculous Medal everywhere - predicting the veneration with which the Immaculata would one day be recognized, exclaimed: 'Oh, how nice it will be, how nice it will be to hear: Mary is Queen of all the world!' And all her children repeat: She is the Queen of each one of us. 

"And what can we do to make this moment occur sooner? . . . Distribute her Medal wherever possible, even to children, so that they may always wear it round their necks, to the elderly and young people in particular, that under her protection they may have sufficient strength to reject the countless temptations and pitfalls that beset them in our times. Even to those who never come to church, who are afraid to go to Confession, who make a mockery of religious practices, who laugh at the truths of faith, who have immersed themselves in the mud of immorality, or who live in heresy outside the Church. Oh! to these it is absolutely essential to offer the Medal of the Immaculata and make them want to wear it, and at the same time pray fervently to the Immaculata for their conversion."

I have a few intentions to commend to you and especially with your help to Our Lady. There is our dear Bosco and his mother, still carrying a heavy cross that we need Jesus to lift, to send a Simon of Cyrene to lift, so that they may go forward in joy and peace and His love to spread Miraculous Medals and the gifts He has given them. There is a kind neighbor, Al, who died this past week, and we pray that Our Lady has already welcomed him into Heaven and the eternal embrace of the Savior whom Al embraced in his conversion to the Faith some years ago. There is a little boy who will have emergency heart surgery, a young man recently diagnosed with Crohn's disease, and a wedding coming up to unite a beautiful couple in holy matrimony - but oh, how many details there are to attend to by this Saturday, the day of their happy union. Finally, there is the little matter of Marcel curing my non-painful little cancer so that he can advance his cause (if he isn't too busy playing hide and seek in Heaven with the Holy Innocents, Jesus, Mary, and St. Therese!)! Oh! and don't let me forget all your intentions too!

With a fervent heart, then, we pray simply:

O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!

And to Marcel:

Infinitely good Father,
You have given Marcel Van the mission of changing suffering into joy.
Inspired by the saints and comforted by the maternal solicitude of the Blessed Mother,
he totally surrendered himself to Your Love.

O sweet Jesus, grant that we may be inspired by Marcel, joyful through love, to follow him along St Therese's Little Way with simplicity and an unshakeable confidence in Your Love.

Holy Spirit of Love, attracted by Marcel's weakness, You set him on fire with Love.
Grant, we pray, that the Church may one day soon proclaim his sanctity, and please give us the grace we ask of You through his intercession, namely Suzie's complete, instantaneous, and lasting cure from cancer.

We ask this through Jesus' adorable and powerful name. Amen.

*  *  *

Draw me, we will run!!!

*  *  *

HAPPY FEASTS!!!!

From Volume 4 of Marcel Van's Collected Works (Other Writings)

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My Father, Saint Alphonsus!

Today is your feast day, a day of joy for all the Church and above all for the brothers of the Congregation. This morning, from the time of my rising, I welcomed with enthusiasm the dawn of a great happiness . . .

But now, the day has lengthened, the shadow of evening falls and I feel myself invaded by sadness and fatigue. My Father, thanks to you, I spent a great day . . . But, on earth, joyful days are finite. Necessarily, these joys come from heaven and my tired body can no longer support them.

I wish, therefore, for a life and a joy without end in the eternal country. Yes, I wish to go and rejoin you soon, but in spite of all of the ardour of my desire, all that remains for me is to rely on your intercession.        - August 2, 1954

+

O Mary, your child, Marcel, feels truly happy! And he owes this happiness to your maternal heart. Yes there is nothing I wish for in secret and in calmness that is not fully granted. It is the obvious sign that, in spite of my littleness, Jesus, my heart's friend, spoils me to this extent.     - August 11, 1954

*   *   *

From the Book of the Prophet Isaiah (45: 5-8)

I am the Lord and there is no other, there is no God besides Me.
It is I who arm you, though you know Me not, 
So that toward the rising and the setting of the sun
Men may know that there is none besides Me.

I am the Lord, there is no other; 
I form the light, and create the darkness.
I make well-being and create woe;
I, the Lord do all these things.

Let justice descend, O heavens, like dew from above,
Like gentle rain let the skies drop it down.
Let the earth open and salvation bud forth;
Let justice also spring up!
I, the Lord, have created this.          

*   *   *

It is I who bring death and I who give life.
I inflict injury and I bring healing, alleluia!     (antiphon from Easter season, Divine Office)

*   *   *

I am off to get a blood test and a chest x-ray, and I am smiling and so excited!
Forgive me for being strange, but let's get this out on the table:

1. I am an extrovert
2. I love doctors, nurses, hospitals, medical offices, receptionists, other patients, et al.
3. I have been waiting to see Jesus for a very long time, and yet I love miracles, not to mention ordinary medical interventions . . .

So this new diagnosis I have of (boring, non-life-threatening, friendly - i.e., non-agressive) breast cancer is, as far as I can see, win, win, win!

Might I point out that I am as illogical as any other human being (especially any other woman), despite having achieved a perfect score on the Logic portion of the GRE. Yes, that was many moons ago, and yes, they did nix that section of the GRE, possibly due to inaccuracy in the correlation of test score to actual logical ability. But hey, if you tell me 14 things about 16 people to be seated for a party and then ask me to seat them in their happiest places, 10 times out of 10 I'm going to get a perfect score in empathy! If you call it Logic, I salute you (and get into grad school, and then my boyfriend who is also accepted because he IS the Logician can propose, and the rest is happily ever after history).

But let's get back to the point here. I know it doesn't make sense to be super happy when you're told you have breast cancer, but I've been on cloud 9!

We could review my top 2 excuses above (extrovert who likes interventive medical world and its people), but I think the 3rd one is the charmer. I can't see how to get to Jesus unless He opens a window, and this looked like a window.

Before you get too excited, let me finish the story.
I did what any sane person would do - I gripped the window to pull myself up (let's ignore for the moment that my pulling-up skills leave much to be desired) - and Jesus did a kind of typical God thing and closed the window on my fingers! Not hard, but just enough to let me know there would be no climbing through this time around.

So there I was awaiting my diagnostic mammogram. That comes after your regular mammogram. They send you a text and email on the Saturday of a 3-day weekend saying cheeerfully, "Call us back as soon as possible!" and then they, naturally, aren't there to answer so you, naturally, freak out and then promptly join a class action law suit against annoying mega-radiology-corporations with lots of technology and no heart.

Or, better yet, you know they are calling you back for something silly, so you don't worry about it. I chose that option, though the freak out and sue seemed more fitting for a California girl like me. No matter, I called Tuesday, talked to a really sweet woman in a foreign country, and found out they saw something that warranted a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound, and they could fit me into their busy schedule three months later.

Huh.
Just do it (thanks, Nike!).
Just say no (thanks, Nancy).
Stop, drop, and roll (yes, I am a native and grew up in earthquake country).
Early detection (sponsored by the world of pink).

One of these is not like the others.
Well, okay, Nike's and Nancy's really need to be fit into the context of a larger prudent decision.
I can't remember when I'm supposed to stop, drop, and roll. I think that must be when I'm on fire, not when I'm in an earthquake - though in an earthquake (and I've been in many, though one of the best in Virginia, so it's not just a California thing), what I've found most successful is to look out the window at a pool (if there happens to be one nearby) and see if the water is sloshing. That is super cool AND lets you know if it's actually an earthquake or you've had one of those little crystal balancing things in your ear dislodge . . .

Gosh, I seem to be getting off topic.

What I want to say, though, is that "early detection" as a pithy mantra is quite effective in helping not to die of cancer if you follow the early detection with more early detection. Such as:

Radiology lab: "Hello, we were trying to detect, nice and early, if you might have breast cancer. We think you possibly could, but don't worry, it's probably just a smudge on our lens."

Me: "Okay, what do I do next?"

Radiology lab: "How about you come in for a more fancy picture."

Me: "Sure. My schedule is completely open for the rest of my life. When would you like me there for my photo op?"

Radiology lab: "Hmmm. We have bought up every radiology lab in California except one, so we're available to take your pictures in . . . how about 7 years from next Saturday? At a location pretty inconvenient and far away?"

Me: "Let me check my calendar . . ."

So I go to church. That's what we like to do in my neck of the woods. Super nice priests, great Holy Mass, lots of Jesus to go around, friends who are there to chat afterward. In the afterward chat out in the sunny courtyard of the church, I mention the foregoing dialog to a friend. She says, "Oh! I happen to know the place they didn't buy and it is lovely. Why don't you get your next photos there?"

And thanks to M-K and her timely advice, I do!
I get an appointment that's much sooner and much closer than Mega-Corp had available and I go.
They are very nice, and they are happy to diagnose me with - the need for more testing.
That works for me as my schedule is still wide open.
Except . . . "Sorry to say, I know this is a bummer, but Mega-Corp bought us and are taking over immediately. So we can't actually schedule the test you need that we would normally do in a week. Come back in 7 years."

Hmmmm.

I did what we all must do in situations like this. I emailed my friend who was dying of breast cancer until the doctors told her she wasn't at all. She really likes these doctors! They must do photo ops there too, I imagined. They did! I got her place - which was bought up by UCLA so is less likely to also be bought up again by Mega Corps - and I went in a week, and they told me a few days later the exciting news. It is the real deal! Not pre-cancer. Not a shadow or smudge. But actually breast cancer.

This is good and bad.
The window opens, but then it shuts again.
This is easy to treat, let's just get rid of that lump and maybe zap you a little with the nice stuff that makes you tired (I like being tired! Then I can sit down and rest. We have a lot of comfy couches and chairs and beds in my house. I hesitate to tell you how many lest you send some agency over to confiscate them). None of that icky stuff that makes you lose hair or feel sick (I'm not a big fan of feeling sick. And incidentally I have felt nothing uncomfortable at all so far. This is a great kind of cancer).

I know, I know.
I am not supposed to be thrilled to have cancer. Or maybe the better way to put it is that I am not supposed to be thrilled by the prospect of death - or rather entrance into eternal life - but what can I say? A good Catholic liberal education goes a long way, and it seems to me St. Augustine was right that we can't be called truly blessed unless it lasts forever. Marcel said the same thing at the top of this post. So let's all go to Heaven, where the bliss never ends!

Except.
Marcel can be so annoying, telling me the truth everywhere I turn in his books (and wow, I love his books! Thank you Jack for translating them!) . . .and here's what he's been telling me ever since I found out I have this very curable cancer that won't actually be life threatening and get me to Heaven yet. (Sigh. Of Love. More work here below, it looks like!)

I should preface this by mentioning that St. Alphonsus was right. He was Marcel's spiritual father since he was the founder of the Redemptorists and Marcel was a Redemptorist brother (as in "Brother Marcel Van"). And today is his feast, so at the top of our post we put a couple great quotes from this gentle giant who loved people so much that he reformed moral theology and came up with ways to help us all get rid of our scrupulosity. Thank you, St. Alphonsus!

So what was St. Alphonsus right about that I'm thinking of now?
Exactly what he says in our quotes above:

It's the conversation with Christ that really cements our friendship with Him.
God stoops down - even to the extent of becoming man so we can rub shoulders with Him - and we pour out our hearts. That's what delights Him, no matter how big or small our stories are. We tell Him everything - at least He wants to hear everything - and He listens with attentive love. And sometimes He talks back, whether through Scripture, nature, the saints' writings, our imaginations, or a word from our friends.

That's exactly how Marcel's life with Christ unfolded - in a series of conversations. 

My favorites are in his book called Conversations with Jesus, Mary, and Therese of the Child Jesus, or (in brief) simply Conversations, but recently I found this little snippet of a dialogue in his Other Writings from a conversation Marcel and Jesus had May 29, 1951:

Marcel: If truly I have not been deceived, why, when I hear You say to me unceasingly that You will come soon to take me to paradise, why do I not see anything happen?

Jesus: It is also necessary, Marcel, that you understand this: when one has undertaken an important work which is not yet finished, is it appropriate to leave it to one side to go and rest? Now, your personal work is not yet accomplished . . . 

+

Ah, yes. Bummer!

There are 4 people very close to me, one tall and super logical, a second who makes me laugh a ton, a third as zany as the second and recently a beloved, indispensable member of our family, and a fourth who's just the greatest guy in the world. 

They all agree and insist that my personal work isn't done, and they should know since they're the ones God has given me to work for (if you can call it work, and sometimes you can).

So I'm here for a while longer (probably a very long while), and that means I need to create some drama (since the breast cancer thing was a red herring in the drama department).

How about we ask Marcel for a miracle?
He needs one to advance his cause for beatification.
I have one ready for the plucking.

Marcel, obtain from Almighty God the cure of my cancer - instantaneously and permanently - if you want to get a feather in your cap and a little shove toward canonization. Amen.

Here is a longer prayer (for those who like longer prayers) because in order for a miracle to count toward a prospective saint's progress and cause, it must be documented. That is, we must document that I'm sick with cancer (check) and then we must document that we prayed to Marcel, not just every or any friendly saint and angel (that would be all of them) for my cure. It is up to Marcel to be the one to whisper our request - or shout it, depending on his mood and the volume of angelic singing up there - into little Jesus' ear as they sit on Mary's lap together. So here goes, our official "we are invoking Servant of God Marcel Van's intercession for a miracle" prayer:

Prayer for the Beatification of the Vietnamese spiritual little brother of St Therese,
Servant of God Marcel Van:

Infinitely good Father,
You have given Marcel Van the mission of changing suffering into joy.
Inspired by the saints and comforted by the maternal solicitude of the Blessed Mother,
he totally surrendered himself to Your Love.

O sweet Jesus, grant that we may be inspired by Marcel, joyful through love, to follow him along St Therese's Little Way with simplicity and an unshakeable confidence in Your Love.

Holy Spirit of Love, attracted by Marcel's weakness, You set him on fire with Love.
Grant, we pray, that the Church may one day soon proclaim his sanctity, and please give us the grace we ask of You through his intercession, namely Suzie's complete, instantaneous, and lasting cure from cancer.

We ask this through Jesus' adorable and powerful name. Amen.

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Draw me, we will run!!!

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P.S. Lest this post and project seem, in any way, discouraging to you (although it is not at all for me), let me remind you that it is the feast of our father St. Alphonsus de Ligouri, and in his honor we must, therefore, ply ourselves and each other with feasting essentials. Choose from the following list as many as you can manage according to your personal preferences, time, ability, desires, and taste!