"It is confidence and nothing but confidence that must lead us to Love!" - little St. Therese, Letter 197, to her sister Marie of the Sacred Heart, September 17, 1896
"These striking words of St. Therese of the Child Jesus say it all. They sum up the genius of her spirituality and would suffice to justify that she has been named a Doctor of the Church. Confidence, 'nothing but confidence,' is the sole path that leads us to the Love that grants everything." - Our Holy Father, Pope Francis in his "C'est La Confiance: On Confidence in the Merciful Love of God, Apostolic Exhortation For the 100th Anniversary of the Birth of St. Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face" Each year on this day, October 19, my husband and I smile and he asks, "How many years ago was it?" No, it isn't the anniversary of our marriage, but the anniversary of the best party we ever had - to date, that is, For on this date in 1997, Fr. JR responded to our request that he say a Mass in celebration of the conferral of the Doctorate of St. Therese with a resounding Yes, and then turned the tables by asking if we'd host a few students for pizza afterwards. He would provide the pizza, we the home and the soda (paper good, plastic cups, and warm welcome). We put out our wedding guest book for the first time since our wedding a mere 9 years before, and our joy was immense when the record later showed somewhere around 100 guests, including not only dozens upon dozens of college students accompanying our fine young Padre, but even the President and First Lady (of Christendom College, which meant no extra security needed but a great time had by all, since they have the party charism). What a feast! The first major party we had after our wedding was on Easter Vigil just 8 months after the Nuptial Mass. Packed to the gills and memorable to this day, nearly 36 years later. The late, great Mike Paietta taught me how to do the Hostess Laugh (you start on a high note and cascade down an octave), to be used when a guest spills on your best wedding tablecloth or breaks one of your wedding champagne flutes accidentally. When the latter happened moments later, I was prepared, and thus the party was a sparkling success! Then there was our Therese bash on October 19, 1997. And finally there was the Nigerian graduation party to end all graduation parties. Bouncy house, abundant Mexican food from the fabulous Garden Market, and best of all, three wonderful graduates of Thomas Aquinas College with their parents and the siblings who could make it - which included Royalty: the King and Queen of Nigeria, we knew they secretly must be, wearing traditional colorful garb and smiles that eclipsed the sun; the parents of our Nigerian boy whose classmates had raised the $6,000 needed to bring them for this awesome occasion. And God miraculously provided what no one on earth could: the much-sought but oft-denied absolutely necessary visas! Well, today being the anniversary of Therese's doctorate means that we are near (in this case poised on the Vigil of) World Mission Sunday. Pope Pius XI instituted this annual party in 1926 to support the missions, and just one year later, he who had the privilege of beatifying Sister Therese in 1923 and canonizing Blessed Therese in 1925, now had the joy of proclaiming her co-patron of the missions in 1927, on a par with St. Francis Xavier. We here at Miss Marcel's Musings just can't get enough of this girl. So it was with awe and delight that we spent this time last year reading and writing about our current Holy Father's apostolic exhortation on our sis. It is full of gems, and after the remark about "It is confidence and nothing but confidence that must lead us to Love" being enough to earn her the Church's Doctorate and make her our teacher, in a sense, "on a par with St. Thomas Aquinas" (quotes are my own - this is not official, just wonderful), right beside that in joy-inducing truth is this passage: "We would do well to delve more deeply into her message as we commemorate the 150th anniversary of her birth in Alencon (January 2, 1873) and the centenary of her beatification (April 29, 1923). Yet I have not chosen to issue this exhortation on either of those dates, or on her liturgical memorial, so that this message may transcend those celebrations and be taken up as part of the spiritual treasury of the Church." Zowie!!!! And now, as we anticipate our next great party, what has Our Holy Father so prophetically done? He has given us as the theme of this year's Mission Sunday a verse from Matthew's gospel that is sharper than a two-edged sword even while it makes our cup overflow! Swords and cups - sounds like a Catholic feast to me! Here is our theme: "Go and invite everyone to the banquet!" We are gearing up at the home of Miss Marcel, albeit in fits and starts, to celebrate our happiest moment since our marriage and the birth of our two sons. We are getting ready to welcome a daughter into our family when the adorable FDIL (Future Daughter in Law) becomes the SOS (Spouse of the eldest Son) in the early days of 2025 (Jubilee Year for the whole Church and Centenary of Therese's canonization) . . . We have the great honor of hosting the wedding, and thus it is - quite accidentally and by the Providence of a very merciful God (you know Him well, I hope) - a sort of "destination wedding" for all those currently living in places less banquet-friendly, less surf and turfy, less sunny-in-winter than we happen to be. (And might I add that we pay a pretty penny in property taxes for the nonetheless unpredictable but generally pleasant weather?) The truth is we are grateful we live here, we are beyond grateful (uber-grateful) for the impending nuptials of our eldest son and the best girl on earth, and we are hopeful that those invited will be able to attend. As with any such event, FDIL and I would have liked to invite y'all, but the wiser noggins of the Husband (mine) and husband to be (hers) prevailed, explaining that there are natural limits to these things, and as Solzynhenitsyn taught us, "Self-limitation is the key to happiness." Understandably, however, distance, expense, and the Christmas holidays look to prevent many of our guestlist from attending. FDIL and I then have the reasonable (if not rational) desire to move heaven and earth to bring any potential "no's" into the "yes" camp on the RSVP tally. But this time, even before the menfolk intervene with masculine smarts, we have been realizing that there is a lot of experience, strength, and hope in the kitchy expression, "Let go and let God." Also in the tried and true saying of Our Lord (adapted for our use here) to let their yes mean yes and their no mean no. Which brings us to this 22nd chapter of the gospel of St. Matthew: "And again Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying: The kingdom of Heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son, and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding feast, but they would not come. Again he sent other servants, saying, 'Tell those who are invited, "See, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding feast."' But they paid no attention and went off, one to his farm, another to his business . . . The king was angry . . . Then he said to his servants, 'The wedding feast is ready . . . Go therefore to the highways and invite to the wedding feast as many as you find.'" For those of us with soft hearts, there's nothing worse than an angry king, and in fact I've left out a few salient verses where the ellipses are . . . but the main point for our purposes is not what's missing, but who's missing. We're so sorry that some can't make it, but the question then arises, do we invite more, or have a smaller party? Forgive me for my lack of etiquette. I know it usually isn't polite to talk about a party in front of a friend who isn't invited. But on the other hand, in the Catholic circles we are blessed to frequent, the etiquette shifts. It is a truth universally acknowledged, right up there beside "A single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife," that none of us hosting our children's wedding can invite all the beloved friends and even well-wishing bystanders that we would like to invite. There wouldn't be a venue large enough to hold you all!!! Thus, in my musings today, I come to this remarkable fact: While I have two brothers and two sons in the eyes of the squinty hearted, my true tally of brothers is, like my true tally of sons, much larger. So we may keep it quite anonymous when I say that yesterday one of my many, many brothers suggested a few changes to the upcoming wedding. I suppose now is as good a time as any to do my Reveal. No, I'm not having another baby, Biblical and exciting though that would be. So it isn't a question of boy or girl, but rather it's been a question of chemo or no chemo. Not that boys are like chemo (well maybe just a little!) but more like God's will is always wonderful, and by the graces coming from all your prayers (really, never underestimate the power of your prayers. As St. Andre said, When you say the Our Father your lips are next to God's ear!) - by the graces coming from all your prayers, I haven't been worried at all about what my cancer treatment will entail. And we found out a few days ago that it will entail chemo. Which is good, because that will knock down the chance of recurrence a WHOLE LOT and also, because we're now with City of Hope, I look forward to a spacious and well-appointed infusion room with free wifi and nutritious snacks. Before you get too excited (if you're really nutrition conscious) or worried (yes, I did burn my fingers badly on a too-hot Pop-Tart last night, and yet here I am selflessly typing away, so it must not be fatal), let me say that I have seen and even sampled the nutritious snacks, and they manage to find the happy middle between kale salad and Lucky Charms. But back to our main narrative. Due to this chemo-sitch, it looks like the wedding may be less of a fun party for me, and said brother was concerned that perhaps it would be a bad time to host such a lifetime event. This brother (like all my others) is quite amazing and in his quest for truth, love, and the American dream, he doesn't actually spend a lot of time watching Lifetime (the TV channel) so I don't think he was really aware that this is the PERFECT Lifetime Event!! I think I may even need to write a movie about it, and then Hallmark and LIfetime can enter a bidding war (if they are different entities). Can't you see me with a colorful turban or perhaps sporting a new mane of auburn tresses (perhaps not my own, but rented for the occasion), and if not feeling well, I could be lying on a chaise longue like La Signora Madeline Vesey Neroni – nee Stanhope of Barchester Towers, carried in by some of my many sons (though not the groom and best man, I think, as they will have other duties)? I am so relieved that the bride and groom are full of prudence, because ever since they became engaged I've been wanting them to be married already, they are just so perfectly and clearly meant for each other. Happily, wiser heads than mine have prevailed, and they have the perfect date set for their Two-Become-One day. Speaking of wiser heads, not to get off topic, but I'm hoping that perhaps the potential side effect of "chemo brain" will do wonders for me. I once knew a fellow (in my extreme youth, say high school age) who had the difficult trait of seeming drunk when he was sober. His best friend used to joke, and there was a lot of truth in this joke, that when the fellow was drunk, he actually had the gift of seeming then sober! And similarly, since I feel like I already have chemo brain (being constantly in need of wiser heads to help with all decisions), I'm hoping the chemo itself might effect a change in my brain to what looks a lot like normal in other people. You can't stop a girl from hoping! Which brings us back to parties and Therese. Therese was very big on hope, and this expression of hers that it is confidence and nothing but confidence that must lead us to Love has so many possible applications. First off, let's stop worrying that it's all well and good for her to say it, but we're, at least on occasion, fearful and timid as church mice, so how does this help us? It helps us because THERESE CAN GIVE US HER CONFIDENCE! She doesn't need it anymore because she is seeing God face to Face (her face snuggled right up to His) - but why let that wealth of confidence go to waste when we can just ask for it? Dear little Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face, our sister and our teacher, please give us your confidence. Fill us up with it to overflowing. And then shower us with roses as a sign that you have heard and are answering this prayer and all our prayers. Also go tell Venerable Tolton to obtain the miracle little Ava needs! And wake up Marcel to get a miracle to heal Suzie if he wants to advance his cause. And then, dear sister, please provide for all our other needs, so pressing and so urgent, and even those dear to our heart but less desperate. Bless all the missionaries in the world, and plead with the Harvest Master to send out more laborers. Obtain the grace of conversion and intimacy with the Good Shepherd for those who have so far eluded His saving crook. Show us God's love, and teach us how to invite others to His Banquet. And help our little banquets be reflections of His so that joy may be born in many hearts, and the peace beyond understanding which Jesus promised may flood the lives of all those we love. I often hear about weddings to which I'm not invited because we live in a vibrant Catholic college community, and as Peter Deluca (a founder of Thomas Aquinas College) once memorably said, "We didn't realize we weren't founding a college, we were founding a people!" Dr. Warren Carroll, founder of Christendom College (where we had the great grace to live and work for 14 years) said something similar, that the greatest achievement of Christendom was the multitude of Catholic marriages and families it produced. The upshot is that when I hear about a wedding (often) that I'm not invited to (more often than not because one can't invite everyone, as mentioned above), I don't take it personally, and I may even be relieved because just as "one" can't invite everyone, so another "one" couldn't manage to go to every wedding, even if invited. Last summer was a personal best - so much so that I've lost count, but I know that back in June I attended two weddings in one day, between April and August my husband and I attended the weddings of three nieces, and all told, I think I was able to make about eleven weddings and had to decline two or three. I'm feeling, then, a bit like a wedding expert, and I remember after our own (future) bride and groom had attended something like their 3rd friends-wedding in a month, I asked, "So what did we learn?" It was a privilege to have the opportunity to share in the unique and unrepeatable joyful anticipation of "happily ever after" with so many couples, and an absolute blast to see each wedding with new eyes, wondering what aspects we might want to repeat, if possible, at our own festivities. When FDIL asked me what wedding customs meant a lot to me (because let's face it, we could multiply traditions until the cows come home and still have a long night ahead), I responded with a clear and (for once) simple answer: The wedding custom I'm attached to is the one where the couple gets married in the Church with a priest. And then I really like the custom where the music (for dancing at the reception) isn't too loud and thus doesn't drive everyone over 22 away from the party. We have the first of those covered, and the second is a dream we are working to attain. We also have a great caterer (a dear friend who does this professionally), a spectacular choir director (another dear friend and professional who, come to think of it, sang at our wedding too) whose extended family forms the most beautifully angelic choir in the Western hemisphere (which, happily, is where the wedding will take place), and - did I mention this already? - a bride and groom and a priest! Oh, and a wondrous church in which they can marry in the Church! I guess I'm rambling at this point, but what really makes me smile hugely is this: My brother kindly suggested (and it was a good suggestion, and I'm grateful for it because it helped me clarify my thoughts) that we could have a very intimate wedding, and that would alleviate the stress of hosting-in-the-midst-of-chemo. For some, reducing the guest list might be the right move. Just like for others, postponing the wedding might be right. Especially if news was coming back to the bride and groom that due to the location and the time of year, not everyone they hoped to host could make it to sunny southern California because they had appointments with snow-storms (and family) elsewhere. For us? The conversation clarified me like butter. And then along comes dear Pope Francis and solidifies me into a soft and salty useful stick (I'm trying to stick with one metaphor here!) . . . "Go and invite everyone to the banquet!" Forgive me again if you don't receive your invitation, all ten of you who read this outpouring of my happy heart. Consider this your spiritual invitation to pray with us in January (we'll leave the date out so you can spend the whole month in union of prayer with us!) and celebrate the marriage with us wherever you are. All it takes is a glass of any liquid for a toast, and a hearty Cheers! I really can't believe how good God is to us, and yet I do. Our eldest son is 34 and has just this year found his help-mate and fullness of his vocation. If you who read this now are unsure what God has in store for you, please remember to borrow Therese's confidence, because God is so good, He will hear your prayers and give you the mission He has planned for you with and among the people He has chosen for you. It is confidence and nothing but confidence that must lead us to Love! "If all weak and imperfect souls felt what the least of souls feels - that is, the soul of Your little Therese - not one would despair of reaching the summit of the mount of love. Jesus does not demand great actions from us, but simply surrender and gratitude." - St. Therese (from Story of a Soul) Draw me, we will run!!! P.S. October 19, which when it falls on a Sunday is World Mission Sunday, is also now in the new calendar the feast of the North American Martyrs, those heroic French Jesuits we mentioned as intercessors in our previous post. Here is an article on them by another Jesuit hero, Servant of God Father John Hardon. May the great Jesuits of yore pray for those who lead and convert us now. Saints John de Brebeuf, Isaac Jogues, Anthony Daniel, Gabriel Lalemant, Charles Garnier, Noel Chabanel, Rene Goupil and John Lalande, pray for us!!! Comments are closed.
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Miss MarcelI've written books and articles and even a novel. Now it's time to try a blog! For more about me personally, go to the home page and you'll get the whole scoop! If you want to send me an email, feel free to click "Contact Me" below. To receive new posts, enter your email and click "Subscribe" below. More MarcelArchives
December 2024
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