Triple Loveliness

Wouldn’t you know that after writing the post on Little Ways of Prayer the other day, I found myself attacked by the temptation to worry that I was terrible at praying and assailed by the fear that I was a huge disappointment to God.
 
As to the first – that I’m terrible at praying – well I should hope so! I’m an all or nothing kind of girl, and the alternative to being a terrible pray-er is to be a perfect pray-er (my anxiety level rose at thinking I wasn’t praying perfectly; the seeming solution: to figure it out quickly and become the perfect pray-er). But if I were a perfect pray-er, I’d be God!
 
God is already perfect triple loveliness, and though He invites us to be one with Him, divinized through our union with Christ, little _____-Jesus (fill in the blank with your name, like if you were Marcel, Marcel-Jesus), still He has a triple loveliness of perfection about Him that is not lacking any goodness or beauty even when we, though we love Him, pray terribly and are in many other ways imperfect. I conclude, then, that He does not need us to be perfect pray-ers. That would just clutter up the situation. He is All, we are nothing. The Saints are quite clear on this, and it’s quite a relief. It doesn’t tire Him to be All, though in that role we’d be exhausted in a nano-second.
 
Instead, while He delights to give us everything (think: Jesus, not to mention our existence, air and sunlight, food and water, roses and chocolate, Mary and Marcel and Therese, etc.), we have something special to give Him in return, in thanksgiving. What can we have that is really ours to give? Why our emptiness for Him to keep filling! So if you find yourself, like I find myself, pathetic at praying, simply thank Him through your tears, your smiles, and/or your laughter (depending on whether it’s a sad, happy, or hysterical realization), and definitely don’t worry about anything anymore ever, least of all that you are what He loves: namely, littleness and emptiness that He can fill with His Love.
 
Not surprisingly, however, my temptation and fear reached its peak when I woke up waaaaaay too early for the new day, that is, the day after posting on little ways of prayer, also the day after I’d read 100 soul-nourishing things in my new book on Therese, but also one or two or three worrisome things. I realized in the full light of the next-day (this day-after upon which I awoke waaaaay too early) that those worrisome things I’d read, that made me think I wasn’t “measuring up” to the little way (which, incidentally, is the most wonderfully ridiculous fear I’ve had in a long time, seeing as it is a contradiction in terms) were worrisome things that God had made that dear author insert in his book so I wouldn’t recommend it to you. We might say God has a one-track mind (St. Thomas will back me up on this one, it’s right there at the beginning of the Summa), and especially when it comes to me, He simply repeats: Marcel, Marcel, Marcel!
 
Which means that when I get the message, which comes through best sometimes at 3 a.m., or 4, or 5:30 a.m. when there are few other distractions and competing voices (except the worrying one, but under and over and around it I hear “Marcel, Marcel, Marcel”), I turn on my nightlight (thank heavens my husband is a sound sleeper) and open Conversations.

Here’s what I found when I did that the other early morning, opening to a passage Marcel had written for me on December 29, 1945 (sweet thing!). I should add for context that my love for the French language continues to grow, Therese having just given me another French dictionary (finally a little one befitting the little way) for her second feast the day before my panic and finding this passage:
 
Jesus: Oh! Marcel, do you want to speak to Me, do you want to call Me in French? Let me teach you a very easy phrase that your sister Therese normally repeats to Me all day long. Write this down: ‘Dear little Jesus, come to Me.’ Another time: ‘. . . to France’. Another time: ‘to the priests of France.’*
 
*These three invocations are in French in Van’s text: [and forgive me for copying the French without accent marks] “O petit Jesus, viens avec moi” . . . “avec la France” . . . “avec les pretres de France.” [which I think we can also translate and extend to: “O little Jesus, come with me,” and “come to the whole world” and “come to the priests of the whole world,” which last would be, I think: “O petit Jesus, viens avec les pretres de toute le monde!”]
 
Jesus: Do you understand that Marcel? I will explain it to you: [now Jesus speaks the phrases in Vietnamese, though kind Jack Keogan has translated them here into English for us English speakers, seeing as Vietnamese dictionaries are harder to come by, not to mention harder to read!] ‘Dear little Jesus, come to me . . . come to France . . . come to the priests of France.’ You will recite these invocations with your sister Therese. She is already quite used to doing so. And I, on hearing this call, I shall rush to come to you without delay, assured of meeting there at the same time your sister Therese.
 
{And here’s where things get even better, if things can possibly get any better than Jesus teaching us how to pray in French!}
 
Marcel: Little Jesus, is my sister Therese with me at present? I notice that, since yesterday, she has not said a single word.
 
{And now please remember what we can never repeat often enough: every word Jesus speaks to Marcel, from the first to the last, is meant for each of us too. Jesus said so at the beginning of these Conversations, and thus the following words are meant for us as well as for Marcel.}
 
Jesus: But, yes, she is always at your side; if she does not speak to you it is because she gives way to Me. When you sleep at prayer, she speaks in your place so as not to leave Me alone with nothing to do, or of falling asleep Myself; since if it were necessary that I sleep, even a million Marcels would not succeed in waking Me. I am very inclined to sleep and if I have no one to chat with Me, I fall asleep immediately and, once asleep, I awake when I really wish to. No one is capable of dragging Me from sleep. You yourself could cry loudly and it would be in vain. This is to say that Therese loves you greatly, you, Marcel [you, dear reader, to whom these words are equally truly addressed], her dear little brother [or sister], since she looks after everything in your place. She doesn’t want to see you lose your smile . . .
 
***
 
And you’d think that now I could stop. That seems like a good stopping point, doesn’t it? But if you, like me, had Conversations opened (to 205) and your eyes, like mine, couldn’t help seeing the next bit – oh, you wouldn’t judge me for my weakness! Who can resist Jesus? Especially in His infinite tenderness, as He expresses it to us through His words to Marcel:
 
Jesus: You say that you are sad for the smallest thing; when you give way thus to sadness, that saddens even more your sister Therese since her only wish is to see you happy. Therefore, never be sad, Marcel. If by some misfortune your sister became angry and left you there all alone, what would happen? [Don’t worry; Therese assures Marcel somewhere in here that she is never angry with him. Jesus is just using a sort of divine hypothetical in His attempt to importune Marcel to be happy.] Even if you cried a lot and pulled a face you would no longer find anybody to wipe your tears. It would be a great pity. So be happy always and then you will receive affection and kisses; in a word you will obtain everything. What more can you wish for?”
 
(A slight digression - unless you see Therese’s Act of Oblation at the center of everything, in which case we’ve reached The Point! When Jesus says, “In a word, you will obtain everything,” I’m reminded of the end of the first paragraph of the Act, where we say with Therese: “I desire, in a word, to be a Saint, but I feel my powerlessness and I beg You, O my God, to be my Sanctity!” And Jesus, here to us through Marcel, is saying that if we are happy always – a fun goal, even if we need Him to make it happen – “in a word” we will obtain everything – I think that’s His little wink at our offering, telling us that He gladly accepts it and accepts our request that He Himself be our Sanctity!)
 
As my eyes fall back onto the pages of Conversations, I quote:
 
Marcel: Little Jesus, I understand absolutely nothing.
 
Jesus: Marcel, who is obliging you to understand? Ignorant as you are, how would you be able to understand? . . . Besides, I have not said these words for you, but really for souls who are afraid of Me.
 
Ah, that would be the rest of us! Not having Jesus constantly 3-D before us in excellent audio/video, surround sound, magnavision, H-D, cinemascope, and whatever is the latest in apparition/locution technology, we do tend to forget that He said He is meek and gentle . . . Thank Heaven that Marcel wrote everything down and Jack Keogan put it into English for us!
 
Let’s make a new resolution to be happy always. Jesus has told us so many wonderful things through Marcel, and though Marcel rarely understands, he obeys and writes down these words: for us! Now when it comes to a resolution (new, old, renewed, taken up again as a light yoke), I’ll be the first to admit that Jesus doesn’t make it easy, mixing in those bitters with the sweets, but let’s smile even through our tears and thank Him. Because in another way He does make it easy. He has given us Marcel! Adorable little Jesus, thank You!
 
 
I mentioned at the outset that God is perfect triple loveliness. And since He loves to share (that’s the children’s version of the truth “Good is always diffusive of itself” ), He loves to make us triple loveliness too. Just as He had given Marcel a gorgeous sister, Therese, to pray in his place while he slept at his prayers, so He gives us Therese and Marcel too. Imagine, then, how we are finally able to fulfill St. Paul’s injunction to “Pray Always.” Triple loveliness – our sleeping selves, and darling Therese and charming Marcel – before the Face of God. He must be smiling!
 
I think we ought to begin celebrating triply each day. A little way to have our blessings and count them too, you might say. In honor of God’s triple loveliness and the triple loveliness He’s shared with us (letting us be triplets with Therese and Marcel), which are both triple gifts that keep on giving!
 
Here’s how I celebrated triply yesterday, when I intended to post this little musing, but God had other plans (His plans are so much more awesome and satisfying than ours! Can we resolve, too, to thank Him for re-adjusting ours so frequently?):
 
 First, I had my Friday holy hour where I get to pray for every lover of Marcel, and in particular for you who are reading this now (you see my confidence in my prayer has increased, now that Jesus has told me Therese will be pinch hitting when I fall asleep, and I know that Marcel, as the second Therese, is praying in my place too).
 
Second, because a dear friend’s daughter is getting married today (blessings upon all newlyweds, about-to-be-marrieds, and just-marrieds, which latter category includes all of us who are married, since time does fly!), my house happens to be filled with FLOWERS until they (the flowers) go to rejoice the hearts and souls of all those at the wedding feast (an earthly image of our divine heavenly union with Jesus). Every time I’ve come into my house or out of my room yesterday and today, I smell the spicy mix of a dozen kinds of flowers, including six dozen cream colored roses (which, of those gracing my house today, are my favorites, and I’m counting them all as roses from Therese for all of us here and our continuing prayer requests in her octave).
 
And what was the third part of my celebration yesterday? It was meant to be posting this for you, but instead it was not posting this for you, going for one wifi hot spot to another, failing to post! What greater joy is there than feasting together on Conversations? I can’t think of any, unless it might be eating a bitter chocolate rather than a sweet one. How else can we explain the popularity of 70% cacao, of the propensity of Triple Loveliness (the Original, the Divine), He who wants us to be happy and united with Him, to keep thwarting our little plans? I praise and thank Him, even as I hope to make the successful posting of this musing part of today’s triple celebration of His love!
 
The other celebrations? I realize straight off I’ve been stingy, claiming only three a day. We can do better than that! Already just looking ahead into this First Saturday I can see I’m hoping for confession, the Wedding Mass, Holy Communion (!!!!!), the reception, the joy of seeing all “my” flowers praying and making the Body of Christ beautiful and happy (there, just like Therese and Marcel praying for us. You can bet I’ll take credit for those prayers as well as my own feeble attempts – I think that’s what these flowers represent!). And the feasting just goes on and on! And I haven’t even mentioned Conversations, which is part of any happy day, just like air and water are part of a balanced diet! (And however disappointing a day might turn out, because sometimes “degout” just clings to our hearts, let’s always rejoice somewhere in the midst of our disgust that we are never, any more ever, alone. Our brother stays beside us from now until eternity,  just as our sister stayed beside him. He wanted to resemble Therese in everything; let’s trust he is busy now resembling her in this faithfulness to our very little souls.)
 
Which reminds me. I never told you about the other thing that brightened my spirits when I was worrying about my prayer too early and flipped open the Book of Solutions. After reading Jesus’ reassurance that Therese is happy to pray in my place when I fade out, I looked to what came before that sweet explanation. There I found Jesus saying to Marcel (and to us) the words I will transcribe to close our post of triple loveliness, just before we finish with our little prayers:
 
“Do not be discouraged. All you will ask for, all you will wish for, I will grant to you. Do you now wish that I give you some kisses? How many do you want? But it is first necessary that you tell me: ‘Dear Jesus, I love you.’ Without that who would wish to kiss you? When you have said: ‘Jesus, I love you,’ I will give you as many as you wish for.”
 
Ah, kisses! Yes, let us obey to the letter Jesus’ law of love, so that we may get as many kisses from Him as we wish for. Let’s start with wishing for two thousand! That should keep little Jesus out of mischief! But first our part:
 
Jesus, we love you! A lot!
Draw me, we will run!
Ahn-train mwa, noo koo-roe(n) ah tah sweet!
O petit Jesus, viens avec moi!
O petit Jesus, viens avec la France! Viens avec les pretres de France!
O petit Jesus, viens avec tout les pretres! Viens tout le monde!
 
And now? Get ready for Jesus’ kisses! He always keeps His promises, and after so many prayers, several even in French, I wouldn’t be surprised if He brings all the angels and saints with Him to kiss us as well!
Happy triple loveliness, and no more worrying about anything, any more, ever!